Memoirs of a Former Lead Worshiper
Back in January 2004, I took an “indefinite sabbatical” from worship leading. I had been leading music at church since I was a teenaged Christian — since around 1996 — when my home church moved into our own building and started having worship services in English.
If I recall correctly, the sabbatical period lasted about 6 months. I was cleaning my room at home when I was back in Toronto earlier this May, and I found the old journal entry that recorded the thoughts that lead up to the sabbatical. I also recall the issues at hand that lead to the much leaded time of reflection: the congregation I lead 1-2 times/month had lost the meaning of true biblical worship, and the things we sang became only lip-service to a God who certainly deserved a people who carried their crosses.
I had been passionately leading and shepherding the congregation through music with little notice from the pastoral staff for 7 years. In the months (and years) that lead up to my sabbatical, I remember pushing for a deeper spiritual depth in all that we sang, being very frustrated with the music ministry itself. For it didn’t seem like it was growing or maturing in terms of life worship. I was not physically or emotionally drained from leading every month, but I was frustrated about the where all my efforts to direct the teams I lead: nowhere.
Here is the journal entry: (more…)
Touch Not the Glory!
A few years back when I used to ‘lead worship’ on stage at my home church, there was one time after a Friday night corporate worship time that my Missions Deacon gave me a big hug after the service. It was our church’s annual Missions Conference weekend, and the songs I had lead with my worship team were very well executed that evening with little noticeable mistakes, and quite simply, the Spirit really worked to convey the message that Jesus alone is the hope of the nations.
Immediately after the last song had finished and the congregation was dismissed, the Missions Deacon quickly came up to me and hugged me, thanking me for leading such a great time of singing. While I know he meant well, I tried to shrug it off, humbly thanking him for his thankfulness, and replying that I was only doing what I was called to do and that the one who had really led us all to praise God was Jesus Himself. (more…)
