Confessions of a Reticent Seminarian

This past Labor Day weekend was the least productive weekend so far in my seminarian career. Whereas I usually spend about four hours reading/studying each day on the weekend, I was barely able to spend two hours reading on Saturday and Sunday, if it all. And thus, Monday was spent playing catchup to all that I should have read. That was not fun, and still, I didn’t get all caught up.

But I’m working on it now. Yes, and it’s killing me :S

I didn’t spend an overt amount of time hanging out with friends, though when I did (i.e. the entire Sunday night) I did feel guilty. It was a much needed break from work, but still I didn’t get all that I wanted to get done.

Why? I spent too much time napping, checking Facebook, feeds, emails, Flickr photos, napping, and checking Facebook again and more feeds — mindlessly, not purposefully; not really doing anything. Subsequently, I haven’t been studying enough, reading my Bible enough, praying enough or journaling or blogging enough. The last journal entry in my Moleskine lists Sept 2 as the date; my last real blog entry as Sept 1. That’s just unacceptable! Where have I been? What have I been doing?

Why has all this been happening? Because I am homesick. I just admitted it to a seminarian friend a few hours ago. Moping around, napping, doing nothing: I confess, it is because I miss home, for I have never lived away from home for school before. And while I honestly do not feel like I miss home, my lack of motivation to study seems to be due to nothing else other than homesickness! I see no other possible reasons.

So if you are reading this, please pray for me. That I would be driven to glorify God by diligently studying & doing my spiritual disciplines consistently; and be rid of this weird unmanly feeling! And if you could leave a comment about doing so, that would be of great encouragement to me!

Time to get back to Baby Greek:( Thanks for your prayers.
SDG