Search me, Know me

A prayer and reflection on Psalm 139

Father Almighty,
You have searched me, and you know me. You know everything about me. Everything that I think about: all my dreams, hopes, and ambitions; all of my sins, failures and weaknesses. You know it all. And in all this, you know even my hidden intentions, including the worthless affections and vain desires that I hold in secret. Wherever I go, whatever I do, you know my heart—you know every reason, motive, and purpose behind it. Even before I think it, want it, feel it or do it, you knew every detail about it. Before I even confess anything to you, before I open my mouth—my words are intimately known by you.

For you are God. I cannot lie to you. Even if I speak untruths, you know already what is truly on my mind.

I could run, I could hide, but I can never escape your presence. You are here, there, you are everywhere. I dare not even try to flee from you, for such would be a waste of my energy—you would be there before I move one step. Therefore, I come to you; I run to you and hide myself in you and in your Son, Jesus the Christ. For from you, in you, and through you alone I live, move, and breathe.

While I fear that by human standards I am imperfect, scarred and damaged, you remind me by your Word that I am wonderfully made in your image—to humbly, reverently, and fearfully reflect your glory. Even though my sinful heart is weary of being rejected because of the way I look, you convict me of my sins of disbelief and untrust. You love me just as I am, but you do not leave me just as I am. This, me, like I am now—you made me! And so this is perfect; this is enough.

I want to know you, Lord, and I want you to know me! Your thoughts, your opinions are important to me. I value what you think about what I am doing, what I am thinking, what I am desiring. I want to know if it is ok with you that I do this and follow down this path; if my heart is in the right place, in as right a place that it can ever be. Is this the way? Could this be true? Is this really right for me? Would this be beneficial? Oh God forbid, if this is not the way, if this is not true…give me a heart of discernment, of trust, of assurance—that you have the best in store for your children. Remind me that you have planned before the foundation of the world, a life abundant with faith, hope and love beyond my greatest hopes and reams.

I pray oh Lord for a pure heart and clean hands. You know that I want this—so purify and sanctify my heart, for godly and selfless purposes. Remove anything that is selfish, that does not honor your name. Keep me holy and blameless before you. I pray for your blessings upon me, for the days and weeks to come; that my words and my actions would bring praise to your name. May we grow in fellowship with you and be built up upon Christ our Rock and Redeemer. May we consider each other first, as brother and sister in Christ. May we not settle for second best or third best, but may we fight and yearn for the best things that could ever come from your sovereign hands. May we edify each other and glorify your Son. May we be in the right place with you and in our own journeys—ready to submit to the Lordship of Christ with a life of love and service. Grant us friendship everlasting, humbled to respond to Christ’s sacrifice with a mindset of maturity and unity.

SDG