Stop Whining

During a long conversation with a friend recently, it was noted that I do not whine much nowadays. I was humbled by the compliment, and at the same time, was thankful that somebody was noticing and appreciating this minute thing. I’ve tried to do that very thing, whine less, not just for my own sake but for the sake of the church and His glory.

Why don’t I whine much anymore?

For one, I’ve learned that whining and criticizing my church and its ministries does no good for the furtherance of His kingdom here on earth. As much as I want change and growth to happen in my church, that is something only the Spirit can do–it is God who saves people, the Father who calls on His own, the Son who brings the elect from dead to life, the Spirit who fills and empowers His chosen ones. What I am is but His hand on earth, an instrument in the LORD’s hands purposed to do whatever He wills.

What, then, should I be doing?! What He tells me to do, of course! And for now, it is attending the young adults small group once every two weeks, serving on my church’s worship team once a month by playing bass, and teaching a Sunday School class on the Atonement every week until the end of May (plus serving on the Campus Challenge 07 committee as Workshop Coordinator). That is all. Within these three ministries, I essentially do what the leaders choose and I strive to do it the best as I can. I attend small groups every other week (unless something of greater priority comes up) and lead the Bible Study time when asked. I play bass for worship team as best as I can (giving creative input as appropriate), and I teach my young Sunday School students with all my strength (yelling at my kids with biblical authority and friendly humility as required). That is all I am told to do at this point in time, and all that I am gifted to do.

Do I think any of these ministries could be better? Yes! Do I have any ideas about ways of improving small groups, corporate worship, and Sunday School program? Of course! There is not a shadow of a doubt that I have much opinion about how my church is run, including the preaching methodology, service length, the elder board system, and our mission and goals for the years to come. On the other hand, hearing about other churches at conferences has made me realize what a blessing I have at Jaffray and what good things the Lord is doing in my church. Am I happy about where we are as a church currently? Well, yes and No! I’m very thankful that there are consistent servants in the ministries, a loving group of friends in Christ whom I call family… but much spiritual and numerical growth has stagnated over the years, and thus the consequent atrophy and complacency are kicking in. I myself could very well be both be a cause and result of that. In short, I’m trying hard to obey Christ’s command from Matthew 7:1-5:

7:1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

Secondly, it does not do me any good to only criticize my church and God’s church in the West (even though such comments may be very constructive); I don’t think I truly grow in the Lord by airing out my spiritual family’s dirty laundry. If this does me no good, then why do it, right?! Certainly, it is true that I desire to grow spiritually everyday of my life and even aspire to be a faithful minister of His word as a vocation. However, it is not healthy to be continually responding to the circumstances and the environments that I find myself in. Some prime examples include the emerging church (McLaren, et al) and spiritual formation (Foster, Willard, et al) movements: if all I do is waste my time and energy confronting doctrinal error in the church, then Satan would have succeeded in distracting me from my primary mission of preaching the Good News of Jesus Chirst. I should not be heedlesly responding to every happenstance and circumstance that comes my way, but should rather be responding to the Truth of God–that which is only found through diligent study of every word He has said in Scripture.

Which brings me to the my third reason: Southern. Since the Lord has called me to a life of vocational ministry and opened the door to the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, I will rarely ever step into another Alliance church in the future. From the 19 years I have spent in the Alliance church, I actually have grown to be indoctrinated into a certain doctrine and faith–specifically, that of Baptists and the Southern Baptist Convention. This is bittersweet to me, very bittersweet actually, for I have grown to love my church family, no matter how many practical or theological issues I have with them.

Thus, from God’s call on my life and the door He’s opened for me, I want to find a new spiritual home where I don’t feel out of place in my Calvinistic beliefs, nor alone in my Reformed Charismatic leaning! I am cherishing every minute of my time left with my church, but unfortunately I know I am leaving for good very soon and have to slowly let go of my responsibilities here. I still care tremendously about my church, but unless I am asked directly for my input or opinion, I have no intention of proactively telling anybody what I think about whatever. I have seen every Pastor come (and for some, go) and have witnessed every tide that has turned under our roof; if you genuinely know me then you would ask me what I think.

Ask me what I think, and I’ll tell you. It’s that simple.

If somebody asked me, “What do you fear happening to our church once you leave?” I would not know what to say really. Quite frankly, I am appalled at the words of John in Revelation 2 to the Church at Ephesus:

2 “‘I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and found them to be false. 3 I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name’s sake, and you have not grown weary. 4 But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. 5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent. 6 Yet this you have: you hate the works of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. 7 He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who conquers I will grant to eat of the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.’

I am afraid that God would take away our lampstand. However, He says that if we repent, if do what we did at first, if we persist in unleashing God’s truth one word at a time and persevere in praying for His return… we will reap the fruit of a healthy church: “To the one who conquers I will grant to eat of the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.”