This is Part 5 of my personal testimony and my spiritual autobiography.

Call to Ministry, continued…

In those trying months, my hurt and struggles drew me to look deeper into God’s Word and the words of others before me. In time, I grew in understanding the depths of my depravity and the height of his majesty—His pure glorious holiness which cannot accept sin. Recognizing His Sovereign authority over all things, I began to understand His Divine plan in election and learned to be thankful for His grace in every moment. I found the answers to the questions in the heart and mind of my Sunday students and myself in His infallible Word. Coming to terms with these theological issues, I eventually realized that much of my own theology was “Reformed” once I compared it to various books, sermons, and articles I read from authors like Louie Giglio, John Piper, John MacArthur, Al Mohler, Mark Dever, Josh Harris, Mark Driscoll, etc..

I attended the Passion06 conference in Nashville with two of my CC’05 worship team members in January 2006, and it was there that I heard the voice of God call out to me through the lips of the speakers, Beth Moore and Louie Giglio, and through the Words of God Himself in Galatians and Colossians. I cried tears of repentance and surrender during Beth’s talk on Galatians 6—but I did not realize that at that time that it was my “call to ministry” until many months later. Instead of just eating God’s Word, getting full on it and simply enjoying it for myself, the Spirit moved in my heart and called me to sow it—the Word of God—into the soil of my lives and those around me.

One who is taught the word must share all good things with the one who teaches. Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith. (Galatians 6:6-10)

Indeed, I stood in commitment and devotion during Louie’s altar call from Colossians 3:17 at the end of the conference’s session—by His grace and His Spirit working in and through me, I would do everything for God’s fame and unending memory of His name. The Holy Spirit’s voice called on me to use my gifts and my talents, my strengths and my weaknesses, to share the beautiful news of salvation through Christ alone. As fun, filling and entertaining as music ministry has been for me, I realized that it was not my calling. Furthermore, seeing the hypocrisy of many Christian friends around me was heart-wrenching—seeing and hearing about those who worshipped God on their knees on one night and clubbing, and getting drunk on another night. I realized that as important as music is, it is truth that outlasts the melodies. Music cannot save anybody, only the gospel truth can, and furthermore, a catchy tune can be a distraction unless it helps people implant God’s truth into their hearts.

(The conclusion, coming soon)

In this series: (Download PDF of the entire autobiography)

• Shaped by the Cross, part 1
• Shaped by the Cross, part 2
• Shaped by the Cross, part 3
• Shaped by the Cross, part 4
• Shaped by the Cross, part 5
• Shaped by the Cross, part 6