from: complaints@1and1.com
to: sixsteps
date: Jan 29, 2007 3:09 PM
subject: 1&1 Internet Inc. Complaints Re: Internal Server Error since before 6pm EST
mailed

Dear Alex Leung, (Customer ID: #######)

Thank you for contacting us.

I am sorry for any inconvenience suffered. We understand your plight
and your frustration. We sympathize with your situation here. Our
administrators and developers are aware of these issues on your server.
We know that you’ve experienced some downtime. This is not something
that we consider acceptable. We have been working extremely hard to
ensure that you see the best uptime possible. However, we know this
doesn’t resolve your personal problems. We always want to end all
disputes and matters in the most amicable way possible. This is why we
want to compensate you in any way we can. I have since added three
months free hosting to your account. You will see this credit on your
next invoice/statement. Hopefully, this can begin to help with the
troubles you have seen so far. In the meantime, we will continue to
work around the clock to resolve this issue. We sincerely appreciate
your feedback and patronage. You should see this problem resolved very
shortly. Thanks.

If you have any further questions please do not hesitate to contact us.

–
Sincerely,
Joseph Quinn
Technical Support
1&1 Internet

Today 

Earlier today, I had an interview with HP (Canada) at their Markham location, near Hwy404 & Hwy7.  The interview was for an Inbound Call Centre Representative job, and overall, I think it went very well.  I had some good conversations with the coordinator and team lead about the position, about their expectations and my own career goals.  The salary isn’t great, but it is Hewlett Packard, and at a fairly convenient location, so it looks like a good opportunity to learn and use my skills.  I’m looking forward to hearing back from them.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow, or rather, later today, I have an interview with the City of Brampton, early in the morning at 8am, for a GIS Technician 6-month contract job.  This one looks like a great opportunity to use my education and the skills I developed at Ryerson and from working at the City of Toronto.  The pay is good and the location is still commutable–so I’m crossing my fingers and praying hard for this one also!  As a 6month contract, it work out to be great for my schedule to start my M.Div at Southern in the Fall (Aug) term.

Later this afternoon, after the interview in Brampton, I have to head out east to a little town called Picton, for an interview with the County of Prince Edward for a GIS/Planning Technician job.  It’s another government job, so it should be good… the pay is decent, but the only downside is that it is in Picton–out in the middle of nowhere, about 2.5hrs east of Toronto.  From what I gather, it is a full-time permanent position, so I guess this is fairly enticing on the long-run… but I really cannot forsee myself moving to a hick town even semi-permanently.  Nevertheless, I want to work hard at this interview too, and pray that God will provide what is best for me in this time.

Applying for seminary

My application to Southern Seminary is almost complete.  Hopefully, my pastors will have the Recommendation for Admission and Church Affirmation forms filled out, and I can mail out everything by the end of the week.  I feel like I’m kind of also delaying my last edits of my Autobiographical Essay… I guess part of me is just kind of sad that the time has come to finally move on and away from Toronto.  Even though there are many things incompatible between me and my church, especially in terms of theology, and despite there being some not-completely resolved baggage here… God is telling me that I need to strive forward toward the goal He has set before me.  I have made a home out of this city since 1987, and it is bittersweet to be leaving–no matter when this may be.  Please pray for me as I complete all the parts of the application, and my heart in this time of slow transition.  I just got a receipt in the mail from Ryerson saying that my transcript was mailed to Southern on the 25th, so at least that’s one thing that’s already on its way down south.

New Blog Design

I’ve been working on a new blog design.  For the past few months, I’ve been re-thinking my purpose for this blog and how I write what I write.  I haven’t done so lately, but a lot of times in the past I’ve written long posts and even series of posts about theology and church-related issues in the form of fairly expositional articles.  I intend to continue to do that, but as have been suggested, I need to work on contextualizing my knowledge and the things I’ve read in laymens terms that regular-folk can understand!  I also know that I’ve never really had a purpose for my personal blog here at sixsteps.org, but I intend to have a solid purpose for my blog once the re-design is finished.  Part of the purpose will be to live out a humble orthodoxy in this blogsphere, and especially showing my readers and related parties that I say what I say because I love them.  So in this, please pray that I could show you that I love you, that my words could sound less arrogant and more humble; I share with you all that I have learned from His Word because I genuinely care for your well-being.

I don’t have a specific timeline for when the new layout will be out, but at this very moment, I’m hoping that it will be complete by Ash Wednesday / the beginning of Lent, whenever that is.  I don’t want to rush things and nor release the new layout parts at a time… but I think Ash Wednesday would be a good goal for the time being.

“What does this mean?”

I am currently thinking too much, and should be reading more instead, so I can rid myself of thinking too much.  This is a very good time for me to be reading deep into theological issues, like atonement and the emerging church, because I am just making things so much more complicated for myself.  I think that it’s just because of everything above that is putting so much pressure on me psychologically, spiritually and emotionally… that to even be reconsidering this and thinking about this stuff again is really putting the drama back into my head.  Just the other day, I was telling my friend that I was living a very drama free life… but now, only a few days later, I feel like there’s drama going on in my head even though there’s nothing going on in my life really. 

The words of Chantal Kreviazuk come to mind: what if it all means something?  I hate hypotheticals, so let’s just discard the hypothetical part of this question and go head first into tackling this: does this mean anything?  what does it mean?  Do I want it to mean something?

I was reading this heartfelt blog post by a close friend on homless / injustice, and what came to mind was the famous Micah 6:8 verse which says, “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”

My heart wrestled with what this verse meant–what does it look like to actually do justice, love kindness and humbly walk with our God? I think the chorus really says it all…

God of Justice (We Must Go) by Tim Hughes

F G C F
God of Justice, Saviour to all
G C F
Came to rescue the weak and the poor
G C F
Chose to serve and not be served

Am7 G/B
Jesus, You have called us
F
Freely we’ve received
G
Now freely we will give

**
C G/B
We must go live to feed the hungry
Am7
Stand beside the broken
F
We must go
C G/B
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Am7
Move us into action
F
We must go

To act justly everyday
Loving mercy in everyway
Walking humbly before You God

You have shown us, what You require
Freely we’ve received
Now freely we will give

Bridge:
F G C
Fill us up and send us out, Fill us up and send us out
F G C
Fill us up and send us out Lord

Something is going on in my head. It’s weirding me out, how I’m not understanding things–or rather, just thinking too too much. I don’t know why this brain of mine is doing what it’s doing: making muddy something that’s clear. Maybe it’s just that, clear as mud! I just need some time to zoom out and process everything that’s led up to this point in time, to analyze what’s been and how I feel about that. (Excuse my expletives here. It’s more of a note to self)

What I’m feeling this morning, is that my mindset and motives have changed a lot over the past year and a half… and such changes, such growth has been the cause of the change in my methods. My methodology still has a long way to go… but I’m glad these 3 things have changed. It has bettered me in ways I cannot fully appreciate yet.

So here it is, from a little while back, what I wrote about “changing that which can be changed“.

is 100%.

I started a draft with this title about a month ago, but never got around to writting out my thoughts on this issue. Or rather, I avoided putting into words about these ill feelings because I thought it was just futile and useless. I didn’t want to whine, and just spit out whatever I was feeling… but now, the thought is a much more complete and processed.

As I have mentioned before, I am at that age where everybody around me is in a serious romantic relationship with somebody. Furthermore, friends my age are getting engaged to be married. On many occaisions, I am the only single person at various Small Groups gatherings. It is completely unavoidable NOT to feel left out, or simply “alone” in my place in life.

The title here simply means that the it is a 100% difference between being with somebody, and not. The difference and contrast is, quite frankly, very significant. For one to “have”, and for another (like myself) to “have not” has dramatic dissimilarities. All the issues and problems that one has–is in stark contrast to those who do not; the things that one has to do and be is extremely different for another who doesn’t have to do or be.

Let me try to contextualize this for you. It’s like the difference between having an iPod and not having an iPod. For the longest time, I did not have an iPod. I had an mp3 player to listen to music and sermons, yes. But everybody around me had an iPod–whether it be a regular hard drive version, a mini, shuffle, video, or nano… Apple’s iPod dominates the portable music player market. Regardless of what the competition has to offer, people still buy iPods and Apple keeps on selling them. To not have an iPod is to feel like a loner, a misfit. Honestly, that’s what I felt like: different. I reasoned with myself that iPods cannot play wma files and can only play legally downloadable music from iTunes alone. I’ve coveted others who had an iPod–especially a nano–because it is the popular, hip thing to have. (It’s just soo beautiful to look at, sleek, slender and nice to look at!) It is the norm and the standard; I was a bit un-normal and extra-ordinary for putting up an anti-Apple & anti-iPod stance.

I have an iPod now. Sure, I feel much better, and like I’m part of the in-crowd. But really, is the difference between not having an iPod and having one that much of a difference? In one respect, the difference is huge. I don’t know how to explain it…. but I feel completely different with it now, than before without–in a good way
However, in another respect, the difference is not that big. It is less than 100%. iPods plays music, and so does every other mp3 player.

Which brings me back to relationships and having a significant other. Very recently, I thought the difference is one hundred percent. But as I’ve always said, it’s all about our outlook on life–how we perceive our surroundings and what we have been given–that makes all the difference.

Perception is everything, and thus, seeing things in life clearly is very important. I may not have like so many of my friends “have”, in the sense of a fiance or a girlfriend/boyfriend, but I have friends whose relationship with me is something I value and cherish above and beyond romantic “relationships”. This is why I now see that the difference is less than 100%–because of the deep, beautiful conversations and relations I have with good friends. Even though I don’t have and am not a somebody to somebody… I have friends who are more than that and who can give me soo much, even if we’re not that kind of friends.

Hence, this is another reason I think perspecuity is the most underrated doctrine of all. You can never be too clear about where you stand, what you believe, how you feel, and what you want to do.

I didn’t know things were a bit unclear for me before, but I’m very glad that things are much clearer now–despite not really knowing what all this means right now.

“Do you wish to be great? Then begin by being. Do you desire to construct a vast and lofty fabric? Think first about the foundations of humility. The higher your structure is to be, the deeper must be its foundation.

Do you wish to rise? Begin by descending. You plan a tower that will pierce the clouds? Lay first the foundation of humility.

Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.”

-Saint Augustine