Phriday Photos

So it looks like I will NOT be moving to Michigan, as I did not get a job offer. And thus the search continues… I am somewhat disappointed, and yet another part of me is like, pheew, don’t have to struggle through such huge move yet. Interestingly enough, it may seem that I will have a chance to attend & even help out with Campus Challenge 2007 since I will be here! For now, Urbana 06 is in the horizons.

My family dropped my mom off at the airport early this morning… she’s left for San Francisco to visit her younger sister there for a few days, and then she’s off to Hong Kong to visit her mom (my grandma) and her other siblings, until January 17 in the new year. So it looks like I have the house all to my self for a while =D

Recently, it has come to my mind that I have a hard time trusting people… more less anybody and everybody.  I don’t know how this came to be, but I feel reluctant to tell anybody how I really feel about anything, my hopes and dreams, plans and ambitions, even how I am processing and thinking through every situation/circumstance to get to what I am thinking.  I feel like I cannot trust anybody with this heart of mine… fearful that my trust will be broken.  Those unreliable, unfaithful, uncommitted, unthankful, materialistic, self-centered types.  In this skinny shell of my body, I have are my words–solid as wood.

I know sometimes I have a hard time opening up to some friends I have known for a long time, those I’ve grown up with… I think it’s with these kind of friends that it’s the hardest to get to truly know better & grow in friendship, just because we know a lot of the nitty-gritty details about each other already.  I guess what I mean to say, is that if you are a friend and I have neglected and been complacent in opening up and talking to you–know that I do care, and love you as a brother/sister in Christ… it’s just that I am in a stage where I cannot initiate friendship, and need you to take the first steps.  I know it’s a bit critical of me to do such a thing, but I need proof from you first that you are trustworthy.  Once I can trust you, and this ain’t a black to white transition, I can tell you everything–if you really wanna hear it (just be aware that I may possibly be melo-dramatic & a Charismatic Calvinist).