“Truly, I say to you, all sins will be forgiven the children of man, and whatever blasphemies they utter, but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin” — for they had said, “He has an unclean spirit.”   Mark 3:28-30

From reformedanswers.org:

It is true that blasphemy of the Holy Spirit can never be forgiven. Although the Old Testament Law does not state this explicitly as such, this subject falls under the broader prohibition against using the Lord’s name in vain (Exod. 20:7) and loving the Lord with all your heart, soul and might (Deut. 6:5). In any event, Jesus himself specifically stated that blasphemy of the Holy Spirit was the unforgivable sin, so no amount of rationalization about the specific wording of the Old Testament laws can rightly conclude that it is not a sin, and no amount of rationalizing about John’s general statement about forgiveness can exclude the specific exception mentioned by Jesus.

But judging whether or not you have blasphemed the Holy Spirit is not really your call. You are not your judge — Jesus is. You may feel that you have blasphemed the Holy Spirit, but that doesn’t mean you have. In the only examples of such blasphemy that we have in Scripture, the blasphemers attributed the clear works of the Holy Spirit (namely miracles) worked by Jesus himself to the devil. You didn’t see the Lord perform any miracles, which means that whatever you did is not nearly as clear as a case as the one we find in Scripture. Although you might have attributed to the devil works that you now believe were performed by the Holy Spirit, this is not proof that the Holy Spirit performed the works in question.

An easier way to evaluate this question is to look at your heart and the content of your faith. A believer can never commit the sin of blasphemy of the Holy Spirit — it is impossible for him to do. We know this because the Bible teaches that salvation can never be lost. But if a believer were to blaspheme the Holy Spirit, he or she would certainly be lost. Therefore, a believer cannot commit that sin. Moreover, an unbeliever who commits that sin can never come to faith. If you now believe the true gospel and love the Lord, then you have never blasphemed the Holy Spirit.

After all, it is the Holy Spirit himself who indwells believers and moves them to act and to will according to his purposes (Phil. 2:13). Can you imagine that the Holy Spirit would move anyone to blaspheme himself? Of course he wouldn’t. That would make his motives self-contradictory. It is his job to keep us secure in Christ, not to permit us to sin our way into irrevocable destruction.

If, however, you are not a true believer, if you do not believe the gospel of grace that the Bible teaches and trust in Jesus as your Savior, if you do not love the Lord, then you may well have committed blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. But even then I would encourage you to seek and pursue the Lord, believe on him and repent of your sins. If you can do that, then you were wrong about your previous estimation of your actions.

And also from this article:

Blasphemy in general is “speaking against.” “Speaking” is pretty self-evident, although by implication we should also include other forms of public discourse like writing. “Against,” however, is a fairly vague term. In this case, it refers to taking a position in opposition to that of which one speaks. To speak against God is to say things in opposition to God himself, not merely against what God says. So, bad theology is not equivalent blasphemy. Blasphemy refers instead to things like calling God a liar, or cursing or reviling him (e.g. Ex. 22:28). It may be direct, such as in saying evil things about God, or indirect, such as in making claims that cannot be true unless evil things are true about God. For instance, in Matthew 9 some people considered Jesus to have blasphemed when he assumed for himself the power to forgive sins. Jesus essentially claimed equality with God. And this would have been an indirect form of blasphemy had it not been true.

Wednesday night during our CCF Bible Study, I mentioned about being slightly distracted during a night session at Passion06 by a beautiful female lead worshipper.  Basically, it was Christy Nockels.  If you’ve heard of the duo Watermark or listened to some Passion CDs, you’ll probably heard of Christy.  Think back on songs like Knees to the Earth, vocals on Take My Life, Glory to Your Name….and most memorable for me, Grace Flows Down.  She led it once at our Community Group at Passion06, and I was blown away completely by God’s grace once again.

I admire Christy, not just for her powerful voice, but for the life of praise and ministry she leads.  She’s been doing this for as long as I can remember with her husband Nathan Nockels.  Nathan produces like all of the recent Passion CDs, as well as the CDs of many Passion artist/worshippers…probaly best known for his piano melody on the chorus of “Take My Life”.

Whenever I look at them, I think of a relationship that is completely a gift from God, a blessing of grace.  In their music ministry, Nathan hardly sings–Christy is the voice behind it all, vocally in the music.  Nevertheless, in all the songs, I hear Nathan’s words of leadership in their relationship, in their family, in Word and in righteousness…how it all sticks close to a firm foundation of God’s Scripture.  And in Christy, her following of Nathan’s life leadership, her gift as a worship leader, and her heart of a mom (of 2 kids: 5yrs old and 3yrs old).

I just read this, and was just wowed by Christy’s sharing in this interview:

So, how did you meet Nathan?

I met Nathan. . . Well, it’s really kind of woven through several years because we were acquaintances for a couple of years before we saw each other out in Estes Park, Colorado. But, August of 1993 - that is when we actually were both single and interested in each other. I met Charlie Hall at a church camp when I was 16 and that’s when I really started hearing about Nathan. Charlie was his best friend - we’re still good friends - and now, of course, he’s a worship leader with Passion and he’s on Six Steps Records. So, I always knew about Nathan and I always thought he was just so darling and wonderful, but he always had the same girlfriend in high school. They were really just good friends, but I never thought he was an option, so I just dated his friends.    (laughs)

So, 1993 is when we really saw each other out there. I was still kind of dating somebody, but we ended up spending the entire week together and I really knew that week that, if it was an option, I wanted to marry him. I thought he was “it”.

Check out the entire interview here.

To: Campus Challenge Committee
CC: CC06 Worship Team
From: Alex Leung
Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2006 01:24:24 -0500
Subject: “Evaluating” Worship 

Thanx Paul for sharing about your personal thoughts & feelings about the EM you guys just did.  While we’re on the topic of “evaluation”, I thought I might add my 2 cents on this, in terms of my ministry responsibility at CC: worship & specifically, musical worship.

(Most of my thoughts here I read from Bob Kauflin, Director of Worship Development for Sovereign Grace Ministries)
Here’s a list of things we often incorrectly see as a sign that “worship was good“:

• The people seemed excited
• The music really flowed
• Everybody was in tune
• Everyone was raising their hands
• Half the congregation was on their knees, facedown
• We nailed that new arrangement of “Your Grace Is Enough”
• Everyone sang at the top of their voices
• Quite a few people came up to me afterwards and said they were really blessed
• No one complained
• The joint was jumpin’!

None of these are objective standards of measurement that people are worshipping God, but only could be an “indicator”.  Even in this modern “worship” ministry, we will reap what we sow.  If the worship team sows to musical experiences, we will only reap a desire for better sounds, cooler progressions and more attractive & creative arrangements. (I remember trying to mimic the Passion Worship Band).  If we sow to feelings, we will only reap services driven by pursuits of emotional highs.(I can’t help but to think of all the TCs I’ve been to). …  However, if we truly want this generation to glorify God, we must sow to the glory of God.  In another sense, there is no response unless there is revelation.  We cannot possibly worship God unless we see God…and we cannot see God unless He shows us Himself! (Thank God that He does!!)  And so, worship is and should be our all-consuming response to the all-deserving revelation of God.

I went through a struggle a couple years back in my own lead worshipping theology…I was looking for all the outward expressions, as a sign that I was doing a good job, that worship in our church was good and becoming better. I soon found myself at a dead-end, knowing that some people just aren’t so expressive or charismatic in a sense, and yet also knowing that many (myself included) struggled with living a life of praise.  Thankfully, in my daily devotional readings I finally realized that worship actually starts with seeing God, and NOT the other way around.  Our outward posture is the tip-of-the-iceberg of our inward posture of praise–our response to God’s revelation.  And so, my primary responsibility as an “artist/lead worshipper” is to be a painter.  Yes…a painter (even though I suck at creative arts)! 

My job is to paint an attractive, compelling, grand, Biblical picture of our great God and Saviour.  My responsibility is to paint as clearly and beautifully as possible, the magnificence, greatness, and grace of the one true God, who’s revealed to us in Christ Jesus.  Using my paint–music, words, and physical posture–draw our hearts’ affection and our minds’ attention to His Word, His deeds, and His worthiness…. This is all I can prepare and plan to do, and purposefully achieve in my actions as a worship leader, and consequently, evaluate afterwards how effectively and successfully this was all done.

If people don’t respond in a visible way (obvious engagement, physical expressiveness, enthusiastic singing) even when I strive to paint a clear picture of God’s greatness & grandeur…there could be a many reasons for this:

1. I might not be doing a good job of keeping the priority, priority.  (In other words, I could be letting secondary elements like music/video/sound distract them)
2. Some may not be taught well on the place of expression and engagement in corporate worship.
3. There are a large number of seekers present.
4. Musical settings or execution might be hindering/distracting people (i.e. music is too loud, playing is sloppy/out-of-sync/off-key, etc)
5. People are not familiar with the songs (too new, too old, from a different style/area/church movement we don’t frequent).

In conclusion, I invite you all to keep me and my ministry accountable.  “Worship” often seems like the cool and easy thing to do; I beg to differ–it clearly is not.  As I continue to read more and more into Biblical worship theology, I find that I still have much to learn.  It’s not an easy job, and the responsibility of guiding the worship of almost 200 students is a scary thing, and definitely not easy to do.  I hope you can keep an eye out on me and the team, that we can day-in and day-out, set after set, better this time than last time, paint a grand Picasso-like painting of our LORD Almighty!

Thanks for reading!
For His name & the unending memory of His name,
-Alex Leung
http://www.sixsteps.org

Photos from a crime scene, exactly 365days ago.  These pics were taken from the crime location, looking out into the surrounding area around it (that is, where I stood to take the photo is where the crime took place).  I think we need CSI to come back to the scene and investigate WHAT HAPPENED.  Evidence suggests it was an accident, or that it simply happened & nothing could have been done to stop it.  Reports from eye-witness accounts put the cause on both the culprit and the victim themselves, that it was bound to happen because of who each was.  Either way, crime was committeed…but the case is not closed; the criminal’s motive and intent of the felony is still unknown.

Please excuse the metaphor/analogy; I do not know of another way to describe it.

“I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 3:13-14

- 

Trust in His timing,
rely on His promises,
wait for His answers,
believe in His miracles,
rejoice in His goodness,
relax in His presence.

Come near to God and He will come near to you.
James 4:8

This was basically what I experienced this weekend–freedom.  For the first time in a very long time, I did not have church worship team, didn’t need to teach sunday school, and didn’t have any Campus Challenge meetings!  My sister commented she honestly didn’t know the last time when I was so free =D

So yeh, I felt pretty free this weekend, but with all the free time and relaxing on hand, the emotions all related to this time of the year crept back into my mind and heart, slowly but surely.  I was talking to a friend about it, and she recommended that I start a bondfire and smash to pieces as part of the ritual.  It’s not too late, but right now I just kinda keep it all hidden… it’s all still there, and I honestly don’t know how to deal with it.  Am I supposed to throw it all away, demolish it, burn it up?  Is this what my life consists of?  I can’t help but hear Jeremiah’s promptings, that it all must be torn down in order to be built up.  I just still hold on to the importance of all this in my life, and cannot forsee myself throwing it all out of my life.

(I probably didn’t make sense to you at all…sorry)

This morning when I woke up…I ended up having one of those feelings after I checked the course website for one of my classes–I completely forgot about an assignment that was due today… Have you ever had this experience? When you thought all was well, it’s all good, I’ve got everything in check, my Outlook Calendar all synced up with all the assignments/tests I gotta do–and then WAM!!–you knew there was something you neglected to remember, and this was it.  It’s only worth 10%, but apparently 3-4pages of writing’s req’d…and it was due this afternoon.  I honestly couldn’t finish it in time…so I didn’t bother trying.  I arrived in class a minute or 2 late, and found that nobody else had handed it in and proff didn’t even mention; a friend arrived late a few minutes after me and he didn’t even hand anything in either.  I guess this means it’s due Thursday… I think; honestly, I’m not sure.  We’ve got 3 assignments due one after the other (one due next Mon) and I think we’re just too overloaded to think straight.  Oh well:S

Anyways, I found this lil post on “You might be____ if” the other day…specifically, about Southern Baptists!  (Shout-outs to my friend Shuling @ SBTS in Louiseville!!)

You might be Southern Baptist if,

1. you honestly believe that the Apostle Paul spoke King James English.
2. you judge the quality of the sermon by the amount of sweat worked up by the preacher.
3. you’ve never sung the third verse of any hymn.
4. your definition of fellowship has something to do with food.
5. you think “Amazing Grace” is the national anthem.
6. you believe God’s presence is strongest in the last three pews.
7. you think Jesus actually used Welch’s grape juice at the Last Supper.
8. you judge the quality of the service by its length.
9. you think someone who says “Amen” during the sermon might be charismatic.
10. you believe John the Baptist is the founder of the SBC.

Taken from arbevere.blogspot.com

I totally affirm all the items on the list, except #1!  So I guess that makes me 90% Southern Baptist;-)  ….ahhh, I think my destiny is coming true very soon, I know it!  This is a sign!!

Consequently, I was unable to answer Yes with certainty to any of the characteristics of Lutherans or United Methodists, so this for sure means something :) 

I seem to be lacking COMMENTS from readers on my blog (really not sure why–but apparently some are scared away by my right-wing, conservative theology).. So you who are reading this–please comment!!   Are you a Southern Baptist, Lutheran, or United Methodist?

Perhaps you have run into an earnest Christian, that when opposing the biblical teaching of the “bondage of the will”, “salvation by grace alone” and “election” will use the common salvation analogy which likens the unsaved to a helpless drowning man. That a loving God gives us free choice while drowning whether we will reach out and take His hand to be saved or not. That only an ‘evil’ God, they say, would leave or not attempt to save people who are drowning in a lake. “How could a loving God be so cruel just to leave them there drowning,” they argue.

There are quite a number of things that might be said in response to this. First of all we must clarify that what distinguishes our tradition from freewillism is not that one God loves people and the other conception of God does not. No… the distinction is between an intensive and an extensive love, between an intensive love where God actually expresses His love by laying down His life to redeem His loved ones, and an extensive love that loves everyone in a generic sense but actually delivers no one in particular. Consider the parable of the drowning man again in light of these two perspectives:

(1) Your child is drowning off the edge of your boat. You are a great swimmer but the swells are high and it is risky. You call out to your child to use his willpower to swim back to the boat to save himself, yet he is entirely too weak to do so. You reach out your hand but it depends on whether your child is a good enough swimmer to get to you and has the strength in himself to reach out his arm. But you do nothing more than call for him to come and will only go as far as reaching out your hand since you wouldn’t want to violate his free will to let him decide if he will swim back and reach for your help.

(2) Your child is drowning off the edge of your boat. You are a great swimmer but the swells are high and it is risky. But your love for your child outweighs all other considerations and without hesitation you leap into the water at the risk of your own life, due to the weather, and actually save your child from drowning. You drown in the process but your child is saved. In other words, you don’t just wait to see if he is willing or has the strength. He doesn’t. So you go in and save your child regardless of the cost to yourself.

Which of the two fathers is more loving?

The first one, if you haven’t yet guessed, is the Arminian “father”. He sees his child in trouble and will only save him on condition that he has the capacity to swim through the waves and reach out and take hold of the father. The father will not, however, risk his life to actually MAKE SURE that the son does not drown. His love does not act so this love is ineffectual. It all depends on how the son responds. It is a love which is conditional. The Arminian gospel is just like this because if God violates the human will in any way it makes Him evil in their mind. [Note: I will tell you what. If I am stubborn and will not obey the gospel, afterwards I would be grateful if he "violated" my will to save me from drowning. What I want does not matter since I am only a child with reference to God. It is what God wants that matters. What I want will conform to what God wants when He opens the eyes of my understanding. This is not something I can produce naturally. The Holy Spirit must act or I die. If your child is to be hit by a car, do you wait to see what he will do or do you run out to save him? I don't care if the child did not want it at the time. I do it anyway if I love him. The fact is what kind of love just sits there and does nothing but woo and hope you will save yourself? Is that the kind of love we expect of a parent, let alone our Heavenly Father?]

The second analogy is the Augustinian father. His love is not weak-willed or ineffectual but he loves his children with a resolute will that accomplishes what His love dictates by actually saving his child, even by forfeiting his own life in the process. God is love, and God’s love is like His Word … He says of it, “It will not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.” This is beautiful and what love is all about because it means we can take God at His word and promises.

Again, which father in the story is more loving?

Of course the analogy is flawed since the son, in real life, is already dead to the things of the father and due to his autonomy and pride, would never take his father’s help to do what he knows (or thinks) he can do for himself.

Naturally the next question is, why does God not save everyone then? That is a deep mystery but we know God conspires with His own goodness and wisdom and always does what is right whether we fully understand His reasons or not. The same mystery equally extends to the question of why He bothers to save anyone at all. Given our hostility toward Him it is even more amazing that He chooses anyone. Why not give us what we all deserve, which is justice?  So while it is true we may not know why He chooses only some for redemption, the Scriptures do teach the “what” and the “how” …that He, in fact, does save a partuclar people for Himself. But it is not for us to pry into the mystery of why (since He has not revealed it) except that it was His good pleasure … And it is not for us to presume, as some do, that election means He must have bad motives in doing so.  We know, from revelation, that the character of God is always good and trustworthy so we can know with certainty that He does His choosing for good reasons that are in Himself even though we may not fully understand God’s purpose. But to conclude, therefore, that God must be evil if He chooses some and not others is presumptious at best. The very fact that He does it is the highest reason in the universe.  That He has covenantally set His affection on certain persons but not others is His prerogative. There cannot be a better reason than “God wills it”. Can you think of a better reason?

But to perhaps gain some understanding from what God has revealed to us, consider the following:

The Arminian calls a God who leaves a rebel behind as evil.  To expose the fallacy of this argument we should respond biblically by asserting that God would only be “evil” in leaving them if people were undeserving of just punishment.  By using “drowning in a lake” as an analogy, they are making it sound like our condition before salvation is innocuous.  This logical fallacy is called an “appeal to pity” (ad misercordiam).  “Look at the helpless person drowning and the Calvinist God does nothing. This God must be an ogre”.

Perhaps if our problem were only of a physical disability or of an innocent man drowning then, of course, we might be more tempted to make God out to be an ogre. But this is not how the Scripture describes the disposition of a sinner’s heart.  The Scripture says the unregenerate are rebels, hostile to God by nature. Realizing that analogies are imperfect, this drowning analogy still depends on pity for it to work at all, but is actually imposing an alien presupposition on the Scripture that we were just helplessly, innocently in need and God is, therefore, obligated to reach out to save us, lest we drown. So according to this analogy the one condition for us to meet–if God is to love us–is to reach out our hand and take hold of His, which He is obligated to extend lest otherwise He must be evil, they reason.  Not only is this kind of love conditional, but this love does nothing to help the helpless except call to him from afar.  I hope you are beginning to see the clear problem with this line of reasoning.

Lets get the facts straight: nowhere does Scripture even hint that man is just innocently drowning. Rather it describes us as willfully and purposefully hostile toward God like an opposing army, suppressing the truth and replacing God with our own idols, having a debt we cannot and will not repay. The Text says that we love darkness and hate the light - which means our affections are bent on fleeing from God.  Michael Horton once described it like this: “We cannot find God for the same reason that a thief can’t find a police officer.” It is not as though we just had a physical inability, but our condition is described as a moral inability with darkened affections (John 3:19) in need of a new birth (John 3:3-6), i.e. a completely new nature that we might desire and understand the things of God (1 Cor 2: 5-14).  One thing to remember is that we are all debtors for willfully breaking God’s holy Law. We owe a debt we cannot repay - the price is too high, and further, we are unwilling. This means that we justly deserve God’s wrath - all of us. Unless we can say that we justly deserve God’s displeasure, save in the mercy of Jesus Christ, then we have yet to truly understand the gospel.  If God were to completely wipe out the entire human race in one fell swoop, it would be entirely just for that is what we rightly deserve. If we were all thrown into an eternal hell, we would merely be getting our just deserts.

But since we are using analogies here is another: if nine people owed me money, and I canceled the debt of seven, the other two would have no grounds for complaint. In the same way if God canceled no one’s debt it would be entirely proper, but if He cancels the debt of some of them, the others have no ground for complaint. They are responsible to repay but do not have the ability to repay (see Rom 3:20). God is in no way obligated to to cancel anyone’s debt, but because He is loving and merciful He paid the debt for those He came to save according to His sovereign good pleasure (Eph 1:4, 5).

We must remember also that God has more than just one attribute … and we must also remember that God is infinitely holy, just and wrathful. When we say we are saved, what do we mean? What are we saved from?  We are saved from God. Yes, saved from God. If God is truly a just God, His wrath must be poured out on the guilty.  God is holy and no sin can stand in His presence - His justice requires just payment, a payment we cannot repay.

So God gives one of two things to humans in this life: justice or mercy. Those in Christ have received mercy. It wasn’t because God saw anything in us that recommended us to Him, or because of our great resume or skill but because of his mercy alone that he saved us.

He didn’t love us because of our faith but loved and redeemed us UNTO faith. We are justified through faith alone, but we didn’t produce faith in our unregenerate, hostile fallen nature … God mercifully granted that we would repent and believe the gospel (2 Tim 2:25, Eph 2:8).  Apart from His grace, which He granted us in the new birth, we would never come to God on our own.  Rather, God has set His affection on us from eternity.  He came to find us and deliver us from death, that we might worship and have fellowship with Him.  So if men suffer in Hell it is not because God so determined that they would for no reason, but because of their sin, and if we are saved it is solely because of His grace.

In spite of ourselves God came in the person of Jesus Christ to bear the full brunt of God’s wrath for His people. The punishment we deserved fell on Him.  He saves many but passes over the rest. He leaves the non-elect to do what they will.  They choose to rebel because this is their natural inclination - God did not have to coerce them.  So is God an ogre standing over some poor helpless drowning man?  No, He is faced with people who are wilfully trying to establish themselves against Him and do not want His help.  In fact they take up arms against the King.  They will do anything they can to flee from Him, to declare autonomy and mutiny.

God sends His servants and His Son but we kill them instead.  Does God have the obligation to save those who killed His Son?  Or those who conspire against Him as we once did?  No, He is righteous if he casts them in the lake of fire. But in spite of all we have done against Him, He comes in love bearing the punishment we justly deserve on His own person.  Great love. But He will have mercy on whom He will (Rom 9:15, 16).  Who are you, man, to tell God He is evil or unjust for saving some and leaving others?  We should marvel that He saves any.  If anyone would agree that He is just in punishing us all (which Arminians do), how then can they be consistent to make Him unjust for punishing some and saving the rest for His own good and wise reasons?

We must ask ourselves in light of all this, what is love?  What is a holy love? … and which description most closely fits with true biblical love.  Jesus said in John 10 that He not only “calls his own sheep by name and leads them out” (John 10:3) but that “the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.” (John 10:11,15) but he says of others that they “do not believe because [they] are not of My Sheep.” (John 10:26) . He lays down his life for the sheep but some are not his sheep, and that is the reason they do not believe, Jesus says.

GOD GAVE THEM A SPIRIT OF STUPOR, EYES TO SEE NOT AND EARS TO HEAR NOT, DOWN TO THIS VERY DAY.” (Rom 11:8)

In their case the prophecy of Isaiah is being fulfilled, which says, ‘YOU WILL KEEP ON HEARING, BUT WILL NOT UNDERSTAND; YOU WILL KEEP ON SEEING, BUT WILL NOT PERCEIVE; (Matt 13:14)

Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! (Rom 11:33)

Source: reformationtheology.com

I don’t feel like it, not in the mood for it.  sorry, just don’t blame me about it.

I don’t even feel like doing my daily feed reading of theology & bibliology….So feel free to read about the origin of the red-letter Bible & the regulative principle and tell me all about it later.

It’s that time of the year, so I thought I might post this too…Sorry to those readers who aren’t edified much by these kinda posts.  I’m just journaling my heart thoughts..

I first learned of this song through a friend who posted it on her blog.. :

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did, you fell so hard
I’ve learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

**Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid

I lose my way and it’s not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
I’m forced to fake, a smile, a laugh every day of my life
(”My heart can’t possibly break, when it wasn’t even whole to start with”) **

I watched you die, I heard you cry every night in your sleep
(”I was so young, you should have known better than to lean on me”)
You never thought of anyone else, you just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing

Because of you

Also, check this out, so funnies!

~sighs~ ….