1 more day & things not clicking

It’s been a very tiring weekend…having the Sunday service Lead Worshipper responsibility dropped on me very last minute gave me a lot of stress; practice on Sat night was very good and productive–but I overslept on Sunday morning, so bad, useless parents let me sleep through and did not help at all (even though they knew of my stress’ing over worship team this week).

Just had another worship practice tonite for Sun Feb26 service that we are to lead… it was more relaxing, as we just did some devos and prayed–LOL for like an hour (I seem to can’t stop talking when i’ve got so much i wanna share about ‘weorthscipe’).  After we prayed together, we just played through some new songs.  the session was just for that, learning new songs and simply worshipping together for the sake of worshipping together.  Still have trouble with “God of Justice (We Must Go)” but we found our groove playing Til I See You, Rescue, I Am Free, and All Over The World ;-2

Definitely praying for our church, and the direction we are going.  My English Pastor, Arthur Wong, is really imparting to us the vision and mission that God has given to our community of faith at Jaffray, especially for our english congregation.  To be frank and simple, we are striving to become a missional church and to do all that we do with the missional minset & purpose.  And it is definitely what we need and what God desires of us I think…Throughout our prayer time tonite with the worship team, Sharon, Nathan, and Vicky all brought up basically the same prayer items–the need to step out of our Christian bubbles and to be authentic followers of Christ in this world we live in, and still be fruitfully connected to a community of faith.

Anywayz, … …1 more day until God knows what.  I don’t know what to say, other than things have been the same.  Nothing’s really changed… the anchor is still my anchor.  Unfortunately, nothing more.  Seems impenetrable, unmoving in a negative way…the striving for more intimate friendship just seems like it’s not clicking.  I can be so upfront and honest with my friend Kalee or Catherine (and of course all many of my closer CCF lady friends) for instance… but this, I do not know why it’s not clicking.  How can I open my mouth, be real and honest (and not just dramatic about all the serious things) and just be open, easily talk.  It just doesn’t seem to be happening like that…why are we so, holding back, not opening up, not seem to be interested in the simple things,..and not just talking the small talk. 

Should it even start off as small talk, OR may it be that we are one and the same introverted types…both of us don’t wanna make the first move until we’re totally sure.  but we can’t be totally sure, coz we’re so similar, quiet, unwilling to make take the first step. and maybe it’s just me, who’s feels like i’ve got the whole world on my shoulders and feel like I need support and a devoted confidant in life to share my passions with.  I wanna say so much, and be honest genuine sincere…and maybe that’s why I feel like I gotta be the proactive pursuer.

Well I dont know what I’m really saying here, but come Feb14… maybe I’ll do something, maybe I won’t.  I prefer to, and hopefully buy something so there’s no turning back…  I’ve got this big speech being planned in my head that i should probably put down on cue cards; I’m thinking it’s gonna start off with the “you’re a great friend” speech, I might just keep it at that…or I can ask that famous Question of the Day that we used to ask each other so easily as kids:

“Will you be my Valentine?”

EDIT:

‘Til I See You
Joel Houston, Jad Gillies.

Verse 1:
The greatest love that anyone could ever know
That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
And ’til I see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I’ll trust in You

Verse 2:
With all I am I live to see Your Kingdom come
And in my heart I pray you’d let Your will be done
And ’til I see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I’ll trust in You

CHORUS:
I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live a child in awe of you

Verse 3:
You are the voice that called the universe to be
You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me
And ’til I see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I’ll trust in You

BRIDGE:
You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with all I am my soul will bless Your Name