10Aristarchus my fellow prisoner greets you, and Mark the cousin of Barnabas (concerning whom you have received instructions–if he comes to you, welcome him), 11and Jesus who is called Justus. These are the only men of the circumcision among my fellow workers for the kingdom of God, and they have been a comfort to me. 12Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ Jesus, greets you, always struggling on your behalf in his prayers, that you may stand mature and fully assured in all the will of God. 13For I bear him witness that he has worked hard for you and for those in Laodicea and in Hierapolis. 14Luke the beloved physician greets you, as does Demas. 15Give my greetings to the brothers^[d] at Laodicea, and to Nympha and the church in her house. 16And when this letter has been read among you, have it also read in the church of the Laodiceans; and see that you also read the letter from Laodicea. 17And say to Archippus, “See that you fulfill the ministry that you have received in the Lord.”

 18I, Paul, write this greeting with my own hand. Remember my chains. Grace be with you.

—Why ESV? http://www.desiringgod.org/library/topics/word_god/esv.html —

Reading all these names of fellow servants of Paul, it’s amazing to read about what great works God was doing through all these people.  Imagine, one of us writting a letter to Christians in a far of place, say Somalia….and mentioning the names of us who are praying for them, still remembering those whom we’ve touched in the past: it’s quite an encouragement.

There is signifiance I find in verse 17.  We’ve all been taught throughout our years as young Christians that our ministry given to us from the Lord, but in the end, it is up to us to perform it. And just like many of todays issues in this Christian life, we must see that God’s sovereignty and man’s responsibility need to work hand in hand.  When God calls us to ministry, it is upto us, as the fruit of being graced by Him, to work out our salvation with fear and trembling.  From faith, to serve Him obediently with our hands and feet as He’s called us.

Consider your own call to this year’s CC ministry.  I’ve been considering my own, and also in the process, screening candidates for Worship Team.  Many have been graced with the “gifts” of ministry (and musical worship), but only those who are specifically “called” by God will be serving.  Without the call from God, we don’t serve by faith, and anything done without faith is sin.  But knowing we are called to serve and being affirmed of the calling from brothers and sisters, let us obediently let God use us as He rightfully requires.

Gung hey fat choy ;-P

I think over lunch my brain was really ticking and I had a bunch of things to say, but I think a lot of it has slipped into my unconscious already… 

Today, was the 1st day of the Chinese New Year, year of the Dog.  I led the first English Worship @ church the 1st Sunday of the solar New Year, and just led the first English Worship of the lunar New Year… so it’s been quite a privilege to lead my church at such monumental times of the calendar.  Recently, since I took over lead worshipping on our team from Nathan (English Worship Coordinator, Deaon and PK pastor’s kid of our Senior Pastor Rev.William Yung)…week after week, I’ve gotten many words of encouragement and thanx for leading, “good job leading today.”  I’ve always taken a humble attitude towards it, and still continue to do so.  My response: “Yeh, it was alright today, thanx;-1″  Coz honestly, this week, I didnt feel the groove.  Songs I picked out early, and had a theme moving–Lost in the Wonder + Wondering about the Lost.  Friday’s practice everybodyelse was a bit late, so we didnt have much time to rehearse, and didn’t really learn “God of Justice (We Must Go)”, so this morning I ended up counting it out of the set first thing in the morning.

Nevertheless, things turned out gloriously despite my not-totally hotness, maybe because I felt very unprepared even though everything was prepared.  The set went fairly smoothly, the Psalm reading inbetween songs was good, as was the Prayer….and the last song before Dan’s sermon, “I Stand Amazed In The Presence” we ended up singing verse1 + chorus accappella at the end, and then as planned I left everybody standing for like 10seconds in silence after the voices faded out before walking off the stage.  I think I coulda and maybe shoulda left it hanging for a bit longer…but still, the standing in amazement of God was quite an act of worship.

Sharon played fairly well;-2 We haven’t played together for the past 2 times our team was up to lead; her cousin Catherine took over.  On Friday’s practice, it kinda seemed like she wasn’t totally in the groove yet either, but today she sounded much better, I guess after a bit more practice.  We’ve missed her on the team; we’ve got lots to work on for the rest of the term as a team of lead worshippers.  I hope to dialogue more with our team, and with the other worship teams too…in order to figure out a general strategy, a direction we are moving towards, in terms of musical worship.  coz a lot of the times, i’ve a hard time trying to figure it out.  I tried asking the other teams for set lists from the past 6months–and Holly’s team doesn’t have a record…which to me, ain’t too good.  In order to figure out where we are going right now, we need to know where we’ve been.  In terms of songs, especially new ones, it is especially a sign of unpreparedness if we for the reasons of bad communication and not being on the same pag” overly repeat various songs, or for new songs, there is no continuation from the other teams.  All in all, we just need to dialogue I think…to bounce ideas of each other, to plan together (also with Pastor Arthur).

I’ve also been UNinvited to the English Ministry visioning meeting coming Saturday.  apparently, Pastor Arthur & our Elder Jody had a bit of miscommunication, and the meeting is for “English Planning Committee” members only.  and as Cat rightfully noted, I’m not on the Committee!  At first I just thought of it as an invite coz of all that I’ve done for the church, being quite an influential member of the English congregation…but Arthur talked to me a bit today, and clarified that he’s inviting me to join a new committee–the “Think Tank”, strategizing /visioning committee that would come up with / figure out conceptually where God is leading us.  I am humbled, and should take some time to pray/think it through before accepting the invitation…but already, I know God is leading me towards this.

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Have mention this, some good links here on a Southern Baptist perspective and McLaren’s on homosexuality.  Quite the contrast I would say.

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Anywayz, with all the talk in Sunday School on Paul’s theology in Romans…It’s all got me thinking more and more, trying to understand God’s message to us His chosen people.  I’ve got so much input into my heart mind and soul right now, that I need an outlet.  I feel like I can explode.  I don’t have anybody close right now to unleash my heart-thoughts on, nobody whom I’ve found that I can be truly free and open to trust.  I think this is the part that hurts most.  A lot of the times, during a meal, after everybody else is finished and it’s just me sitting there–I ponder and think, but have nobody infront of me to share all THIS that God’s put on my heart.  And with what my mother just wished me, for Chinese New Years…it’s funny, and just ~sighs~ agreeable.

I am praying for an outlet to share my life with somebody, best friend, who would understand me, and support me in all that I am and all that I’ve been called to do.
*I’m praying that it would be you, and for opportunities to share with you.

 

YahooPhotos is being REALLY STUPID, check out the attached screenshot!

So much for “UNLIMITED STORAGE” as stated @ http://help.yahoo.com/l/ca/rogers/photos/policy/policy-57412.html **it’s not really unlimited at all :S

Seems I’m just about outta photo storage space;S  I’ve uploaded so much photos that apparently I’m almost totally outta room for any more. What should I do?!? I’m gonna email RogersYahoo Internet support and whine for one!!!

Anywayz, I’m highly considering moving over to FLICKr–I’ve actually started using it already since I’ve got this kool integration with my website. $24.95usd for a PRO Account–anybody wanna gimme a belated Christmas/early bday/graduation present?!? (Click here to buy it for me–my screen name is sixsteps)  Flickr is a Yahoo company, so they technically should be able to transfer my yahoophotos over–if it could do this I’ll really jump on switching over!

“How are you?  How have you been?  How have things been going at church… at home;-?

The other day, when I saw you, and you ’saw’ me…you didn’t say anything to me..and I didn’t try to either. Just know that in my heart I did.   But it’s ok.. I think I understand why you didn’t say anything. I just hope it is helping, that you are well, and getting better Spiritually.  Coz that’s what matters most, your relationship with Christ…it affects everything else.

Whatever reason you didn’t come to fellowship this week… It’s fine.. I mean, it’s not, but if it’s truly necessary then I’m glad you didn’t offer a hypocritical sacrifice of praise to God.  Whatever has been going through your head, I don’t understand, and won’t claim to…all I know is God does, and He feels for you very much.  Put a hand over your heart, and feel it beat.  Feel the heartbeat, the rhythm of the life of Christ that beats inside of you.  Feel His heart…His heart for you.

We had quite a journey in 2005..and 2006 seems to be an even more significant year.  A lot of big thing’s are gonna be happening…I mean, Passion06 already happened and I really wished you could have been there to experience the lifesong of 18,000 students uniting together in one voice lifting up the one name worthy of our lives.  And then there’s CC’06…and Urbana06… And graduating, moving on, growing up, growing old.

Time is passing by, and every second that passes by, I remember all that our LORD has blessed us with in the past–blessings, good and bad, but still gifts of grace–and I am thankful.  Much big things will happen and be accomplished this year, and I prayer is that you my friend would be able to share with me & God in this journey.  There’s so much that God’s said to me lately that I wanna share with you…I just hope you know that, you can still say anything to me.

I’m always here…but the time is coming when I can no longer in that capacity that I have been.  It kinda means I’ll be bending my promise to God. Sacrifices have to be made, I’ll hafta give up a lot of things to go where God desires me to go in this life of mine; and I just beg Him that this does not include our friendship.

As always, for always, through Christ,
-Alex”

SDG

Here’s me avoiding what I really wanna say, hope that’s ok with you:S   I blog a lot, and I also tend to read a lot of blogs.  Recently, I’ve begun using an actual homepage instead of just a blank one: www.live.com .  On the left and middle side of my homepage, I’ve got a bunch of blogs/news sites I visit often that I’ve set up to extract RSS feeds from, so I basically get to check like 5 blogs (or more) all at the same time, to see what’s new.  On the right side of my homepage is a snapshot of my sixsteps.org Inbox, which uses MSN/hotmail servers, so I can see if I’ve got new mail.  Altogether, a very functional homepage.

On the matter of blogging, at www.worshipmatters.com which i frequent, I recently came across a very good series of articles/blogposts by Bob Kauflin on how blogging can be worship to God.  And over 3 posts, Pastor Kauflin outlined 3 areas in which blogging can become worship–in our motives, our attitudes, and our content.

I could very well just quote Kauflin here, but read up on it at the link above…and do consider twice how your own blogging can and should be glorifying to God our Father and edifying to all those who read it;-!

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Cor. 10:31

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”  Eph. 4:29, ESV

“Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.” James 3:13-18, ESV

It’s been awhile since I last posted…”a while” according to my terms, which apparently I post very often and am hard to keep up with. For all those who think I post too often, how about you post a comment or 2, and maybe I’ll consider slowing myself down!

Past couple days have been hard.  I’ve been enjoying the weather and scenery, or at least I try.  Really, I’m doing fine.  I’m just wondering why on late Sat night I was asked like 3 times “What’s wrong?  Are you ok?”….Did/do I not look OK?  Is there something on my face, in my non-verbal communication that says I’m not ok? that something is wrong?

One of the thing is just that I realized that the life I am about to choose will have many sacrifices.  and sacrificing these things, time with various friends especially, is what scares me. my active choosing of what I want to do with my life, and how that may not include some people… and not being able to spend quality time with close friends, the whole thing with losing contact or willingly letting friendship slip away, this is what scares me.

I’m also scared that we are going in opposite directions.  i mean, i’m talking about you, and you too.  ~sighs~  It’s like we are in the same place geographically in life, but going in opposite directions in life.  I’m afraid that one day, when I come home from work or school… that you wont be there, that you’ll have gone somewhere else. or the other way around, that you’ll have stayed and I’ll have left.  either way, on this road of life–I’m also scared of asking you to choose.  If “we” started happenning, I would not ask you to sacrifice your life and career just for me..I would not ask that of you, that just wouldnt be fair.  Like my sis said, hopefully 1 of the 2 would willingly choose to support the other.  And I cannot bear the thought that the other, that is you, would not be willing to sacrifice for me, coz I hope you would.  of course, I would be more than willing to support all that you do and all that you are–if you’d let me.

I love pink.  I’ve got this lil Pink short-sleeve Guess shirt and planning to get this pink Hollister polo..  Pink, it’s just like red, but less bloody dark in colour… it’s softer, more pleasant, calm, a feeling of comfort…peace. serenity.  constancy.  and of course, love.that’s what I feel when I see pink, when I wear pink: i just feel….good.  as good as God can make you feel.

The past couple days, I’ve just been weighing the costs and benefits of all that I want to do, telling you the truth, picking up the phone and calling you, or even scarier, taking you aside and telling you straight up or asking you to do something crazy with me.  My imaginary list has a lot of benefits jotted down and a lot less costs… but from the lack of action on my part these past days, that one huge cost is outweighing the countless benefits.  Open wounds I am still hurting from.. I thought it’d heal by now, and I guess it has–but I’m just scared shitless that I’m gonna get cut and hurt bad again.  And so, this is me, guarding my heart as best I can…maybe it’s why I’m not opening myself up that much to you, maybe it’s why i’m not taking that huge jump over the cliff to see you, to hear your voice.  I want to get to know you better, I want to be with you…but I’ve chosen not to do anything drastic since I’ve realized who my heart beats for.  I’m scared that you’ll hurt me, that I’ll get hurt.  and right now, i’m not willling to take the risk.

But then, I’m also scared that you’re gonna leave.  that sooner or later, though we are here right now, that you’re not gonna be anymore…that the anchor will be lifted, and you’re gonna sail off somewhere.  I’m scared that my one constancy in this life will be lost.  I also know that I want to achieve great things, things that’ll mean I’ll be gone outta the province, maybe even outta the country for a long time, even 3yrs…and I just don’t know if I can take that either.

If you ask if i’m ok, maybe i’ll tell you the truth, or maybe I’ll lie.  coz lying protects me from admitting the truth…the truth which freaking hurts.

Maybe I’m being too careful with letting the chemistry boil to anything close to bubbly, and maybe even extra careful with opening my heart to this real-life excercise for a real work out.  I mean, I’ve heard it said, that if you’re always looking for reasons NOT to be with somebody, then you’ll always find them.  I guess at some point, I just gotta let go, and give my heart what it deserves…

Looking for that point..
SDG

And I’d give up forever to touch you
‘Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be
And I don’t want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
and sooner or later it’s over
I just don’t want to miss you tonight

And I don’t want the world to see me
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you’re alive

Colossians 1:24-29

24Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church, 25of which I became a minister according to the stewardship from God that was given to me for you, to make the word of God fully known, 26the mystery hidden for ages and generations but now revealed to his saints. 27To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. 28Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. 29For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.

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At its very core, God does not ask you or me to live out this great Christian life.

What He is saying though is that ‘I want to give you the life of Christ on the inside, and He–Jesus–in you and through you is able to do what I know already that you can’t do.’ See.. God is not up there in heaven getting His own satisfaction in humouring Himself with our constant failures and inadequacies; it’s not like He’s trying to condemn us more and more for failing to obey Him and all that He’s commanded us. It’s not a saddist game He’s trying to play with us–He’s not asking us to do it! There’s only one guy in the whole world throughout its entire existence that has ever successfully 100% pulled off the Christian life–and He was so good at it, they named it after Him!! < --His name is Jesus.

And so, Christ is saying to you, and He's saying to me: I want to live in you, I want to be life within you;-! It is Christ in us that's gonna make this life of ours work...it is the only way we can ever be acceptable sons and daughters of the Father: through His son Jesus living inside of us.

What is your hope of glory? what makes you complete? Is it Christ in you, the hope of glory? Or is that which makes you whole and supremely satisfied something else?!? Coz what I see, is that we’ve had a lot of other “hopes” in this vaporous existence of ours…this world that we live in has a lot of other hopes of glory, but it’s all external hope.